May Need That Hedge Sooner

Ms. Huis has taken on an outside landscaping project. There was an abandoned rock garden at the front of the house with one sad fern, one sad, small hosta and some unidentified plant that I could have sworn was mint. I now know that it is not mint and that in doses of one leaf or less, it is not poisonous.

The abandoned rock garden didn't bother me. I always was looking at other stuff that needed attention, but evidently, it was something that Ms. Huis saw all the time and she took umbrage to its neglect. So she pulled out all the rocks and let loose with the tiller. She had planned to save the unidentified plant, the fern and the hosta, but tillers can be unforgiving mistresses. The hosta didn't make it.

We were just trying to wrap our heads around what to put there, when the neighbor yelled across the fence that she had hostas she was taking out. If we wanted any, we just had to come over with a wagon. So, Ms. Huis transplanted the new hostas and we moved some of our day lilies and ferns into the formerly abandoned rock garden. It really is a huge improvement. I'd like to put a low yew hedge there someday, but we might not get to it for a few years.

Naturally the new plants needed water, and since water and children are like the peanut butter side of falling toast and a kitchen floor, Pumpkin grabbed the hose and immediately got herself wet. As soon as she was wet, she complained and I suggested that she sit out in the sun to dry off. Meanwhile I was trimming up the honeysuckle hedge.

I looked over my shoulder now and again and saw her put down the hose and head to the front lawn. Before long, she was sitting in the middle of the front lawn basking in the sun. Have I ever mentioned that we have not taught our daughter much in the way of modesty or shame yet?

She stayed on the front lawn for quite awhile and I kept peeking over my shoulder every few minutes, until I was mortified to see that she was standing up, with her pants around her ankles. Her underwear was around her knees, soon to be taken off as well. I went walking over as fast as I could, trying not to do anything that would draw the attention of the neighbors.

"Honey! What are you doing? Pull your pants up right now!"

"Why?" (Curiosity as to what was causing Daddy to look so distressed.)

"It's not polite to take your pants off in public!"

"But daddy, I...I has something to tell you." (Realizing she might be in trouble, but not knowing why.)

"Pull your pants up! What are you doing? Do you have to go potty?"

"No, Daddy...I'm hot. It's too hot." (Pants finally in place.)

"Honey, you need to go sit in the shade, with your pants on."

That was my Father's Day.